Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
