why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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