I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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