Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
