i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)