He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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