I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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