I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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