My friends, they love my intelligence
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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