I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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