If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
