the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize