its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
