woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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