Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
