that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize