I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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