For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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