yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
