There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
