Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
worst night to have a conscience
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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