We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
