Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize