dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
