Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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