i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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