I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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