...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
