MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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