i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
