So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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