Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
