Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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