I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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