so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
