So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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