U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
