It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize