Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
