You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
