my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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