she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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