I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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