can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
