so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dicks are not precious.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
