At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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