the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
