Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
