evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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