Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
