All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
