Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
