I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
