I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
