I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
