K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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