I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
