Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
